Thursday, February 25, 2010

Guess who's coming to twitter

If you’re like me, then I am sorry. I know, it sucks. But also you are probably jonesing for a Conan fix right about now. Sadly,  staying in bed all day, wearing nothing but a pair of old, dirty underwear, eating nothing but chips and soda, watching old clips of Conan on youtube and crying so much that you are eventually lying in a pool of your own filth and tears (which, again, if you’re like me you have already done) was the only way to satiate the need for Conan, until now.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Conan O’Brien’s twitter account: Conan’s Twitter

Enjoy it and may we all watch Remington Steele naked.

[Via http://imbw.wordpress.com]

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Scary Lake

It was a very long and incredibly hot day and it was almost over. The sun as a giant red ball was going down but that was not helping at all — the air was still scorching and Natasha felt extremely tired after many hours of driving through that hostile rocky valley between high mountains somewhere at the end of the world. Her old good friend Jeep Wrangler had a soft top but no air-conditioning so she had to drive topless to stay cool and let the wind take the excessive heat from her nicely tanned body. After driving non stop the whole day Natasha was getting close to the edge of this seemingly endless desert and the landscape was slowly changing. The rocks were getting smaller yielding to hills covered with a dingy grass and real forests could be already seen on the horizon. According to the map there was a lake not far away from her current position. Stopping for a rest was probably a good idea. Natasha imagined how she could be taking off her clothes and running into cool refreshing water totally naked. It was so tempting! She got off the trail and struggled through the rocks towards the possible place of pleasure.

The lake was indeed a refreshing place. Concealed in a deep cavern it looked really charming in contrast to the dusty lifeless desert. The sand beach was closely guarded by palms and high tropical trees so she had to park her car and carve her way through the thicket on foot. The view inside was magnificent. The light blue water framed by the golden sands and the green trees instantly made her forget about the dirty long road. Inspired by the beauty of the place Natasha undressed quickly and rushed into the cool water. Everything was just as she imagined: a playful prelude with clouds of icy splashes followed by a heavenly tranquil pleasure that was taking all worries far far away. Her tired overheated body was revitalising and cooling off. It was a paradise. She was swimming, diving, laughing. Almost an hour passed by when saturated with pleasure Natasha went ashore and laid on the sand. Every muscle in her body was relaxed. In a few moments she fell asleep.

It was a deep night when she woke up. In the moonlight everything was different and mysterious but Natasha was not scared, she was enjoying herself being fully naked and free in this enigmatic world. She approached the water and to her surprise it was much warmer than before. For a moment it even appeared to her that these tiny wavelets on the surface had flocked around her feet and flirted, inviting into the water. She found that amusing and made a few steps into the water accepting this provocation. The next moment the floor disappeared, the overwhelmed girl submerged and begun to sink. Luckily she was a brave female so she quickly managed to pull herself together and with a considerable effort made it back to the surface just to realize that it was only the beginning of the adventure.

In a moment Natasha found herself on a great distance from the shore. Now it was scary. What kind of power was capable of doing such things? Well, that was irrelevant all she really wanted at that bloodcurdling moment was to get out of the water as soon as possible. Heading to the coast the fearful girl made a few strokes when something seized her legs. Natasha roared like a trapped animal. It felt like she was being attacked by stalks. They quickly ascended, winded around her hips and tried to get into the vagina. The whole thing was like an awful nightmare, she could not believe that it was happening for real. Scared to death she started rowing towards the shore as fast as she could, but it was really hard — now the girl had to fight not only the natural resistance of the water but also the unnatural power that already almost completely seized her. She realised that one of the stalks just made it right into her pussy. It was way too much for the poor girl. Natasha started writhing in hysterics and may be that had given her an extra power. Struggling to keep herself afloat she was moving chaotically desperately trying to tear up the fetters which were getting tighter and tighter with every second.

The desperate fight lasted for a good few minutes when she finally managed to break free. The girl made it just enough on shore and blacked out. When in a few minutes she regained conscience, everything around was calm and peaceful like nothing ever happened. A moon walk was shining over the perfectly still water and the girl started to think that it was nothing more then a bad dream. Relieved Natasha sat up, looked down and the very next second a bloodcurdling scream broke over the lake. It was not a dream. The persistent stalk that had managed to get into her vagina was still there. But that wasn’t the most terrifying thing. Coiled tightly around her left thigh it was making movements that left not doubt about his intents. The stalk was raping her! It was the scariest moment of her life but same time the situation was so unusual that she felt like the fear yields to a complex yet unknown emotion. It was an unstable mixture of fear, curiosity and pleasure. With interest and growing excitement she was watching its movements. Everything was fucking real. The stalk started to move faster driving itself deeper and deeper in her wet and red-hot pussy. It was the strangest act of love in the world but the woman was totally enjoying it. She was moaning and screaming, her mouth was wide open, the nipples were firm, the whole body was shaking and tears were coming down over her cheeks. She totally lost control. The stalk was tireless. This incredibly sweet torture lasted for hours and during that time Natasha had been conscious absorbing pain and pleasure even though the attack on her senses was way beyond human capacity. Probably it was almost the morning when the exhausted girl finally passed out.

Natasha woke up late when the hot sun was shining bright in the sky above. She sat up and glanced down. The stalk was still in there, but it seemed to be lifeless now. Natasha slowly took it out and found that the plant was absolutely dry inside but on the surface there were traces of a sticky white liquid. The breath taking conjecture was immediately confirmed by plunging a finger into the pussy — the stalk had ejaculated. There was lots of that liquid inside her so it had been not enough time for it to dry out completely. Natasha took a sample and studied it. The scent was different from real sperm. It was a saturated mix of tropical fruits with some subtle shades. She cautiously liked it with top of the tongue. The taste was as nice as the scent. Same moment as she licked it her head begun to spin and then an extreme weakness swept over her body. She made a few convulsive attempts to breath and lost consciousness.

[Via http://maxmarkov.wordpress.com]

Saturday, February 20, 2010

NAKED!!!

Well the title worked, cool. So anyway I was looking around at my blog and realized something. I have yet to write about fashion. I mean seriously, I have pathetic Emo poems, crazy embarrassing confessions, movie reviews, awful music, and a twix commercial but no clothes? MY BLOG IS NAKED!

So today I opened up one of my favorite magazines, ok my second favorite. Game informer is my first favorite but I digress. Anyway I opened up non other than a cosmopolitan magazine. After four grueling hours of sifting through mind-boggling sex positions and hair trends that never work I found the magical section about fashion week! Ok I lied, it wasn’t in there so I had to go online to cosmo’s site..Freakin liars! (lol juuussttt kidddinggg) looks away….

So I am into shock art, I guess you have noticed that by now. Obviously, the first thing I looked at when searching through the fashion week lines was, Yes, you guessed it, THE WEIRDEST SHIT I COULD FIND! and here it is (pulls red curtain back, curtain gets jammed, curtain falls on stage, goes to pick it up, falls, breaks my limbs….wait what?)

Want to listen to some music while you look? Click on “Pop Out Player” below :)

we have Anne Hathaway as the good…wait….rip off!

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we have a girl wearing bloody pants and a blazer top, Lady GaGa called…..?

No wait, Megan Fox lawl

Jenifer’s body, get it? get it? nope, ok….

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looks like a sundial…wonder if it works? lawl

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She mourns in her spare time..more emo than my poems XD

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This is great, why not go for broke and make the whole thing out of cards?   (Cheesy play on words FTW!!)

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Didn’t I see her on a freelance job? (checks EVP’s)

Alright, So there weren’t a whole lot of super crazy outfits that I could find, however I did manage to come across some that I liked or at least ‘wanted’ to like. There was a futuristic line that I deemed the scifi/cyber line as well as a leather line WHICH we all know I am into leather! So lets see it already! Stupid skittles….

I actually like the shirt and shoes

I would want to tweak some things though.

….and kick the model with the mad face lol scurry.

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I like this one as well but its too plain and I don’t like the color

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I really really really like this one too. Awesome boots/leggings!

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Ruffles made of leather: check. Dyed Black….

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Looks like lingerie from the 90’s, and the color blows..black plz

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The look on her face is priceless! LAWL

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I love this! and the shoes too. Very Xtina Candyman ^.^

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I like this but some things need to be changed, love the shoes

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Wispy!

..again, nice shoes. Yep you guessed it!  (I <3 shoes!)

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Shoes!

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And for those of you who love Chobbits XD I actually do like this one though.

I admire the general idea that the designer had when picking the shoes but the clear part turns me off. To hooker-go-go for me.

So if you want to look at some other outfits from fashion week then head here Harper, here Vogue Australia and here M&C

So there you have it, my picks from three lines and what I think about them. My blog is no longer naked and embarrassed, yes Ollie I have shamed you! Just kidding. (Assumes fetal position and heads to newgrounds.)

[Via http://sugako.wordpress.com]

Friday, February 19, 2010

Marriage Prep., or; Set in my Ways

There are some things that will have to change before I ever get married. I thought of this, not because I was asked, but because of something said at church about wives. It’s not that I didn’t agree with the statements, but because they made me seem a little too ready. So before I start to feel myself a little too much, I thought I’d share where I would be “closed for repairs” before I said I do.

1. I pimp my v-card too hard. When it’s pants weather, I don’t keep my legs free of hair. Why? I get to it when I feel like it, it gets too long, or the weather changes and I want to wear shorts or capris. While I trim, I don’t completely “mow the front lawn”…ain’t nobody supposed to be on my grass. My toes aren’t always painted. I have a few extra pounds that I can camouflage with the right clothes. But being naked is a real eye opener. Nobody sees all the details I let slide in favor of more sleep or to save a buck. When you get married, Vicki doesn’t leave a lot of secrets. I’d have to really step it up.

2. You want me to put what where? Yes, I do yoga, and though my pilates game has fallen off, I can do a lot of that too. And while I can get into some odd positions, I don’t have a high sex IQ. I don’t own a kama sutra. I don’t have any practice using my kegel muscles to do anything but keep me from peeing my pants. I don’t have the know how to do any freaky sneaky stuff that will turn anybody out. I might suck at sex (and not in a good way)!

3. Let me cater to…me! In a lot of ways, my man gets the royal treatment. I was taught to fix my man his plate first. I cook. I clean. I watch sports and go to church and would probably make a good mother. But there are whole days I devote to myself. I write. I pedicure/manicure. I wash my hair and wear a face mask. I listen to country music. I do nothing but watch movies in my PJs. I can’t have those lazy cow days so often when someone else is there that wants dinner, sex, clean socks, or needs me to look good at the drop of a hat and whip up something for the colleagues. I do some things because I want to and not because I have to. I gotta get my mind right before I agree to do it all the time, in writing, before God.
4. Til Death do us part? It’s easy to sit my unmarried self here and say there are only 2 biblical ways to absolve a marriage–infidelity and death. OK, and non-consummation, but that doesn’t absolve the marriage because it hasn’t begun. Where there is no blood there can be no covenant. But what about after I am married, and all those little things you forget to consider start to show up? What if I didn’t marry who I thought I did? Will I be in it for the long haul? I don’t worry about me as much as him: what if he is unhappy and leaves? What if I put myself out there and he says it’s not enough? Hopefully I will have covered the basics like money, religion, and children/child reang, but there is so much more.
5. make room for hubby. I will have to rid of some things, share the hot water in the morning, cook things that he likes as well as thing I like, consider what he may want to do and not just what I want to do, remember him when I’m shopping for groceries or household items. You have to make a lot of physical (and mental) room for someone else, even if you never really lived by this principle before. I have to call when there is a change in my routine to let him know I’ll be late, I can’t just go out when I want to and go home when I feel lie it. Truth be told, I don’t go out til crazy times at night, or get wild in the club now, but it’s the fact that I couldn’t then if I wanted to that would need some work.

6. …Or get your money back! I love money back guarantees. I have probably taken something back for a refund twice in my life that didn’t work, and gotten a fresh new one. But there are some things you give in a marriage that you will never get back if it doesn’t work: time, opportunities, virginity, sometimes friends and loved ones for various reasons. People who have been your family that you no longer have a tangible connection to you and who may decide that, in fairness to Mr. True Love, they can’t talk to you or get a bite to eat. Maybe your belief in the whole institution is scarred beyond recognition. Your faith in the humanity of another human being. But you still kinda, just a little, on days when the sun is shining, he pays on time, and he actually picks up the kids like he said he would, still love him. Once given, still there, even if it’s just a “we are the world” love, a “we had some good times, didn’t we?” love, a “he sure knew my spot” love. As Dru Hill asked in a (cover) song “What Do I Do with the Love?”

So how much time does one need, with the right person, to resolve all of these issues, and the plethora of others that come up before “I do” but after “Will you”? How long should an engagement be? What the heck should a person be nailing down in the engagement process? To pre-nup or not to pre-nup? At what age do you become a little too set in your ways to accept all of these changes?

2blu2btru

P.S. NOT rhetorical! Comment

[Via http://2blu2btru.wordpress.com]

Thursday, February 18, 2010

WALKING NAKED DOWN QUEEN ST

I LOVE people who make comments like…”it felt like walking naked down Queen Street” as if they have experienced this clearly pretty rare sensation. http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv/3344556/Failed-Masterchef-cook-felt-naked It’s up there with those who equate a loud noise with “a bomb going off” -like they’ve heard THAT!!! Oh well, we get the idea of the loud noise, but Queen Street in the buff?

[Via http://kutarere.wordpress.com]

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Rochelle Wiseman (The Saturdays) Gets Hot!

Essex chick Rochelle of ‘The Saturdays’ has a hot new photoshoot where she shows some ‘cheek’ lol

Apparently, she revealed that she and Marvin (JLS) have been flirting at the London film premiere of Valentine’s Day this week.

WOW… Marvin, we can’t fault you rudeboy

Saturdays Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2852484/Rochelle-Wiseman-from-the-Saturdays-poses-for-sexy-shoot.html#ixzz0fUG8zYUc

[Via http://fresherhouse.wordpress.com]

Sunday, February 7, 2010

No! a Spartan maid could not be chaste...

No! a Spartan maid could not be chaste, e’en if she would, who leaves her home and bares her limbs and lets her robe float free, to share with youths their races and their sports,-customs I cannot away with. Is it any wonder then that ye fail to educate your women in virtue? (Andromache By Euripides, Translated by E. P. Coleridge)

In ancient Greece not only men took part in athletic competitions. If we consider women’s competitions, there can be no doubts in priority of Sparta. The famous painting Young Spartans exercising by Edgar Degas (see one of my previous posts) is a good illustration. Sarah B. Pomeroy writes in Spartan women that women competed at the Heraea games dedicated to the goddess Hera in Elis that likely became pan-Hellenic games, though on a smaller scale than the men’s events at Olympia.

The women’s race at the Heraea in Elis was the most prestigious, the equivalent for women of the Olympic competitions held for men.

The author mentions that if the Heraea were pan-Hellenic, only girls who lived fairly close by would have participated. The reason was Greek gender policy.

In view of the tendency at Athens, for example, to seclude and protect young girls and to keep their names out of the public eye, it is unlikely that Athenian maidens would have been brought to race at Elis. At Athens (and probably elsewhere in Greece), girls were devalued, and the expenses involved in traveling were considerable.

The Spartan girls dominated in Elis in the archaic period, and it is likely that the games were established along Spartan principles and that the majority of competitors and victors were Spartan. In fact, Spartan women scandalized other Greeks with how outspoken and free they were. Like their brothers, Spartan girls were expected or required to attend the public school. At school they were allowed and encouraged to engage in sports.

The author of Spartan women considers nudity as a costume for sports and writes that Spartan women regularly exercised completely nude. Mature women and pregnant women exercised. Even older women exercised nude. As male athletes had discovered, light clothing or none at all is best for racing.

Plato wrote in Republic:

Yes, and the most ridiculous thing of all will be the sight of women naked in the palaestra, exercising with the men, especially when they are no longer young

On the contrary, the Roman poet Sextus Propertius (The Elegies, Book III.14:1-34 The Spartan Girls) was impressed by the Spartan girls

I admire many of the rules of your training, Sparta, but most of all the great blessings derived from the girls’ gymnasia, where a girl can exercise her body, naked, without blame, among wrestling men, when the swift-thrown ball eludes the grasp, and the curved rod sounds against the ring, and the woman is left panting at the furthest goal, and suffers bruises in the hard wrestling.

Sparta was in many aspects unpleasant society (it is even compared with a communist state, but it is, of course, inappropriate to use modern terms to describe antiquity), but if Spartan attitude towards athletics survived to our times, the modern academic athletics might look different.

[Via http://vadimage.wordpress.com]

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

naomi campbell goes nude for love


shot by mert + marcus, supermodel of all supermodels, naomi campbell appears on the cover for love magazine’s issue three. appearing for the fashion icon cover series, naomi is one of eight covers from the issue. as some of you may remember, i posted newcomer jeneil williams’ cover, in which she appeared doing the same exact pose as naomi. represented by IMG model management, no one can say anything about naomi, she is a living legend. her career has spanned beyond the limitations of modeling & she is known across the world as a black female icon.

imagesource | tfs

[Via http://jeremydante.com]